Tuesday, December 27, 2011

"WWOD" AKA "What Would Oprah Do"?


I really cant say i was ever a fan and i never sat and watched her shows.
But this was crisis time and every woman knows that when the cards are stacked against you, you turn to your people.
For me it was Oprah and my Gynecologist Dr. Brooks.
Oprah for words of wisdom and Dr. Brooks for a little blue pill that will take the hormonal edge off.
It had been almost a week since i ripped off  the band aid off my life and was forced to look at the ugly spot i had created, and the worse thing was  i was picking at it...gross!!
It was my lunch hour at the mall and i needed spiritual intervention so i went upstairs to the book store.
Standing there, trying to channel Oprah and have her guide me to what i was looking for i was easily sidetracked.
The smell of coffee lured me, so i let myself be lured. I ordered a large latte and since i was feeling especially good about myself(sarcasm) i ordered it with extra whipped cream.
The skinny, yoga pants wearing, woman next to me looked at me with large disproving eyes and as i pass her holding my coffee with 3 inches of whip cream on top i commented " wow you look amazing" they never made cute stretchy outfits like that when i was pregnant.

Yes i know that was mean...But i was beyond caring what anybody thought about me, i was done smiling, done pretending, i was 1 blue pill away from taking hostages.
That's when i saw her ..Oprah.
No not the real Oprah but a large cardboard cutout of her, and as god is my witness she was holding the book that would be my salvation "The secret".

Even the title made sense..because if it wasn't a "secret" then everyone would do it and the magic would be gone. (yes i sound crazy, don't judge me)
Plus it was a small book! This meant it was an easy secret and i could do that!

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